Friday, April 11, 2014


Today is an important day for my family.
For many years we have been trying to get Cortney on a wait list, for a wonderful residential placement to live, as she becomes an adult.  Today we have our last interview with them,  and afterwards she will be "officially" on their wait list.  That means she could be placed a week from now, or a year from now. But the call can come at any time. It is bitter sweet for me. I know when that call comes, I will not be ready. I will never be ready.
It's hard letting go.
Giving control to someone else.
Being sure that people take care of her the way I take care of her.
But I know she will love living there. 
She is social, chatty, loves being busy, and loves her friends.
She will have a "job" there. 
She will participate in so many fun events.
She will create a life there that doesn't include me. Or her dad. Or her brother.
I know logically that this is the best place for her.
But my heart aches at the thought of it. 
I have faith that everything will fall into place when the time is right. 
It is exciting.....and scary.

I have been still pursuing the modeling for her.
I've not had any luck which I find frustrating at times.
Even this crazy guy tried to help us!  His stage name is "Can Head."  He was on the Ellen show and several other talk shows for the ability to stick things to himself, and they actually stay!  He and I ran into each other at the local Jewel. He offered to help and took some photos with Cort.  I've been e-mailing them to Ellen with Cort's story. So far no luck. I keep plugging away hoping that someone, somewhere will see her cute face and see her potential.
I know you all came here for my card, so I probably should stop rambling and get to the details!
It was a card I created when I was part of the Dirty Dozen at Splitcoast.  It was a Silhouette cut that I had added loads and loads of glitter to. A few gemstones, a great big ribbon and it was complete!
I thought it was appropriate for today.
Have a wonderful day my friends!
Thanks for listening to me!


Paula said...

Thanks for making me cry, Michele. I don't envy you and this momentous decision at all.

Beth Fairweather said...

Awww, big big hugs to you, to Courtney and your entire family! I cannot imagine how difficult this must be for you. As parents it's so hard sometimes to let our head rule our heart when it comes to our children, but we really do need to do what's best for them. And getting your daughter in a great place will be wonderful in terms of her growth, I bet she will love it and will make so many new friends! And even though you will miss her desperately you will start to see growth in yourself as well. I have special need 4 year old twins, their diagnosis at this point is uncertain, so I don't know if we will face similar decisions at some point in their lives. But in the end, all that matters is your immense love for them and I can certainly see that in your post! And yes we come for the cards, but I think speak for many when I say we love to hear about whatever you want to share. I think it's all part of our creative selves anyway, you put a bit of your heart and soul into each project. Okay, now who's going on! LOL Sorry this got so long, but your post was beautiful and so was your card! God Bless you and your sweet daughter!


Angela Barkhouse said...

Michele, I know this is going to be very hard for you. It's hard for all of us to let our kids go and grow up - for you even harder because of the circumstances. You are an awesome mom and know that you've raised an amazing daughter that will continue to thrive as she begins the next chapter in her life.

Kathy/NorthCarolina said...

Michele...Cortney is the luckiest girl in the world to have you as her mom! You have cared for her with such loving attention, put your own needs aside to attend to hers. YOu have raised a beautiful daughter. And now you are pursuing the ultimate act of are giving her wings. You've already given her strong roots...and all our children need those. But the day comes when they need their own pair of wings to fly into the bright blue sky of their own future. It is so hard to do, especially for a child with special needs. But your mother's heart will give you the courage to do the thing that is best for Cortney, even if it hurts your own heart a little. I am excited for her...and so proud of you. No wonder you create such beautiful have a beautiful soul! Hugs!!!

~amy~ said...

Michele, I cannot begin to imagine what you must be going through...I truly believe that as Momma's we know what we should do for our children....gotta listen to that gut. Cortney is such a lucky young lady to have you and you're a lucky Momma:)

Your card is gorgeous and so perfect for today's post.

Sonya said...

What a big day, indeed. Will be thinking of you and continue to keep you in my thoughts as this transition becomes reality. Beautiful daughter you have....and a pretty card today, too.

Jen Gallacher said...

You are so amazing! Letting go must be excruciating, and yet you know exactly what Courtney needs. My heart aches for you, but I'm just so amazed at how you continue to help Courtney grow into this beautiful woman. I admire you so much!

Margie H said...

I am SO excited for Courtney!! When she gets that call, a whole new world will open up to her and she will thrive! Michele, you are an awesome mom - you put your heart and soul in raising such amazing kids. Yeah, there are ups and downs BUT they are AMAZING! I am in awe of you. So when she gets that call, we will surround you with love and support but until that day...ENJOY! Love ya, friend xo

Carole Beath said...

Michele, oh how my heart aches for you and this decision, you are an awesome Mother to this precious girl.

Sumtoy said...

Yeah Michele what everyone else has said. You are a totally rockin mom and Cort is so blessed to have you in her corner. An advocate, a cheerleader, a guide, and most of all a loving mom. Lots of hugs and prayers for you and your family. PS Thanks for ruining my makeup this morning. :)

Teri said...

Aww, Michelle.... what a poignant post today. What a wonderful Mom you are, to recognize that "your" girl has a need to be her "own" girl as well. And it sounds like Courtney will be ready to do just that! Is the place close by? Your relationship may even go from being just her Mom to being more friends as well... I wish you both nothing but happiness!!!! And be ready, because with this step, YOU will have changes in your own life and you'll have to figure out how to accept them!! It will all be good!!!!

Allison Rankin-Fillo said...

Great looking the glitter! And change like this is overwhelming but I am sure it will be a transition you all appreciate in the long run.

Shantaie said...

You know how dear you are to me, and that I adore Courtney and Kyle, and I know what an amazing family you all are. I know it will never be the perfect time to get that call, but it will be the "right" time.

Letting go is hard, but you are strong, and so full of love that you will let go just a little,and everyone who loves you will be here!

Denise Bryant said...

Beautiful card!
I know a couple of families who have gone through having a child move into a home that sounds similar to the one you're getting on a wait list for. Yes, very difficult. But a good decision.
You will all be in my thoughts.

Joy said...

Hugs to you Michele this is a big change in both your families lives and Cortney, I wish the best for you for you beautiful glittery card, it is just that beautiful and so fitting for this time in your lives, hugs

Alice Wertz said...

big hugs to you and your family, Michele! with lots of love!

Darlene (SCS:akronstamperdpk) said...

Hey Michele! Your cards are always fabulous but I actually came over to hear Courtney's news from your FB page. She is so beautiful, just like her Mom and I can only imagine how torn your heart must be with the thoughts of her growing up and 'moving out'! But like others have said ... you have done an amazing job of raising her and giving her strength to be HERSELF and that will no doubt help her through this transition too! Please know I love hearing about your fabulous family adventures and just can't believe how quickly these last 10 years have gone! God will be with you and sweet Courtney when that call comes in! Keep up the good work and thanks for sharing it with us ... makes my heart hurt and sing praises all at the same time! God Love Ya!

Linda Peterson said...

Michele, I have tears just thinking of what your thoughts are as Cortney is preparing to start the new chapter of her independent life. She is so beautiful and will always make friends fast. You have been the best mom possible and have given her the start she needs. Love and great wishes to all of you!

Katrina Brown said...

Hey Michelle, Sometimes when I don't really have words I turn to Pooh! So here are the thoughts of a wise little bear full of stuff!

”Love is taking a few steps backward maybe even more…to give way to the happiness of the person you love.”
― Winnie the Pooh

Sending hugs your way as you begin to step back and give your beautiful girl room to grow on her own!

Oh yeah, and the card is beautiful!

Barbara A. said...

{{{hugs}}} to you and your family!!! Have faith girl!

Maggie said...

Hi! I'm a long time follower of your blog. My sister had CP and my parents had to place her in a home it was the best thing for her and not to mention us because my mom has MS and it was too much for my dad to handle. She passed away last year but up until then she had the best care in the world. The staff was like a 2nd family to her. I'm sure Courtney will be very happy in her new surroundings and I know you'll visit her a lot :)

reeree62 said...

Michele...Just seeing this now, on Easter night. My heart feels your pain. I cannot imagine how HARD this will be for you. I pray that this will all work out for Cortney's best, and the best of the family... <3 <3 <3