Monday, February 22, 2016

Changes are Difficult.....

This is Cortney's last day being at home. Tomorrow she starts a new chapter in her life at a wonderful place called, Misericordia.  It was a decision we made about 6 years ago, and not a decision we made lightly.  We did our homework. We did our research. We knew the wait list was long, but when you want the best for your child, you are willing to wait.  We volunteered for years, met people, built relationships. We got the call last October and we couldn't have been happier.  This meant a nurturing place for Cortney.  A place where she will be cared for, loved, stimulated, surrounded by her peers. This is a place that gives every single resident a job.  She will wake up with a purpose each morning.  And yes, my heart is broken right now.  She has been my side kick, my shadow, my love, for the last 21 years.  I have taken care of her every need and loved her with all of my heart.   But I know that when Cort is home on the weekends, she gets bored easily.  She is restless, and constantly asks to go to school.  She longs to be with her friends all of the time.  Misericordia will become her "new school."  They will provide therapy, swimming, bowling, a job, picnics, dances, dinners, peer interaction, movies, and a host of other things.  It is time she spread her wings, spread her smile and her joy.  She needs to move on, just as my college son did.  She is entitled to some independence and to create a life outside of her mama.  
As Sister Rosemary said at our Misericordia meeting a few weeks ago, "We are not taking your child from you.....we are sharing your child with you."

The lyrics from this song were perfect.....

Here I am waiting

I'll have to leave soon

Why am I holding on?

We knew this day would come

We knew it all along

How did it come so fast?



This is our last night but it's late

And I'm trying not to sleep

Cause I know, when I wake, I will have to slip away



And when the daylight comes I'll have to go

But tonight I'm gonna hold you so close

Cause in the daylight we'll be on our own

But tonight I need to hold you so close



Here I am waiting

I'll have to leave soon

Why am I holding on?

We knew this day would come

We knew it all along

How did it come so fast?



This is our last night but it's late

And I'm trying not to sleep

Cause I know, when I wake, I will have to slip away



And when the daylight comes I'll have to go

But tonight I'm gonna hold you so close

Cause in the daylight we'll be on our own

But tonight I need to hold you so close







Daylight by Maroon 5

21 comments:

Joan B said...

What a fantastic opportunity. YEAH!! I know this is going to be really hard for you, but when you know in your heart that you have made the right choice, it should be easier. Best of luck to all of you.

Sonya said...

Thinking of you and sending strength your way!

Jeanne said...

I've been following your blog for a long time, although I haven't commented. Your love for your beautiful daughter knows no bounds. Letting her go has got to be one of the hardest things you'll probably ever do, but you know that it is the best thing for her. That's truly selfless. Thank you for sharing the beautiful video. I know where your daughter gets her beauty and inner light and strength from. Best of luck to you all.

Jan from Long Island said...

Thank you for sharing this beautiful video with us. Sending lots of love to you, Cortney and your entire family. I can't wait to hear about and see pictures of Cortney's new amazing journey. Hugs to all!

Janet Saieva

Teresa Doyle said...

I always tear up when I see pics of any children through the years. (It reminds me of how quickly my own grew up and moved on.) Michele, you have such a beautiful young lady there and my thoughts and prayers are with you, as a Mom because I know how hard it is regardless of the circumstance. Cortney seems to ALWAYS be smiling and I have a feeling she will be smiling even more with all that her new home seems to be offering!
A beautiful video, thanks so much for sharing your journey with us and know you are NOT alone right now! {{{HUGS}}}

themachuse said...

What a beautiful video!

~amy~ said...

Thank you for sharing the news with us. The video is beautiful. BIG BIG Hugs to you Momma.

Leslie Miller said...

Such a bittersweet time. Your photos are so wonderful. Cortney is a beautiful girl and you're giving her a chance to be happier than ever. This is a truly selfless act on your part. Very hard for a mama, but such a good thing.

gracemoments said...

I have followed your creative and personal journey snippets for a long while; today's posting of your darling took my breath away - my mother's heart holds your own in prayer and presence today; and I, too, have been one who has had to let go of the child beloved to me and trust for what is yet to be ... you have given Cortney a life beyond measure; her precious spirit will sprinkle dusts of blessing upon all whom she meets.

Thoughts and prayers for you and for your beloved family - and for the new family members that await Cortney in this new place...

Sharon Sweeny Russell said...

Thoughts and prayers are with you! It is bittersweet, I know, but you will rejoice when you see her blossom and soar even more....you are doing what God has called you to do and He will give you the strength and courage you need.

Rachel Parys said...

I hope that you all have a smooth transition. I can only imagine how long it will take for you to get into a normal daily routine, but it will happen. I may be in your shoes in the near future, so any advice you come up with over the next couple months would be welcomed! God bless and good luck!

Margie Higuchi said...

Had to pop in to wish Cortney all the BEST that Misericordia will offer her! Boy, she is going to thrive and grow - I just know it! Sending you and Brian loving hugs and prayers as you let go...just a little...yes, you will be sharing her <--lovely thought and you all are not too far away. Love the video - shed a tear or two but they're happy ones as I know she will be well taken care of xo

Maggie said...

This made me teary eyed! It made me think of when my sister transitioned to her new home years ago. Wishing you all the strength for the big day!! She will do well! Hugs to you!

LuvtoKraft said...

What a lovely, lovely video. My thoughts are with you all as you transition on this newest part of your journey. I know in my heart this will all work out just fine.
Hugs!
Kris

Debra said...

Sharing your sadness today as I know as a mom it will be so difficult for you - and Brian too! However, Cortney will enjoy the changes in her life, and she will love it when you visit! So hard for the both of you right now, but just remember, you are giving her wings to fly ... Hugs to both of you, and treat yourselves kindly today. Do whatever you can do to make it easier.

Lisa Davis said...

Over the years I have enjoyed your beautiful projects and your beautiful daughter! I am sure this is so very hard for you and your husband. But I admire you because you know and have always known that God has a special purpose and plan for your daughter and you are helping her and have always helped her to live out his great plan for her life. Praying for you and your family. Thanks so much for sharing your time, family and creativity with us.

vdoyle8 said...

Prayers for you ... it is so easy to give our children roots but wings are much, much harder.

Conniecrafter said...

Sitting here with tears in my eyes, thinking how hard this is going to be, but also that you must feel so happy for her that she has a loving place to go to that you have researched and been such a part of and know in your heart it is the best thing for her.

Roxy Timmons said...

I feel for you when our children get their own lives it isn't always easy... I am so happy for Courtney she gets to live her adult life surrounded with great energy, love, activities for her personal growth and stimuli. She is going to be sooooo happy.. I have friends that did this and there daughter loves her life in her new home... Be comforted you have done this with LOV E

jennifer delauter said...

Just in the last year or so, I feel like I've gotten to know you and your family. While watching the beautiful video, I started crying myself. I can't understand what you are going through....yet. My own daughter is just 15 years old, but I know that the time is coming sooner and sooner everyday when she too will leave to spread her wings. My heart aches for you and I will pray for you and your family. I used to work at a place very similar to Misericordia. They do an awesome job and those who live there love it. They look forward to each day and the friends that they meet at work. I truly believe that Courtney will love it! My only request to you is- please go visit her. In the two years that I worked, I saw family visit ONE time. I truly believe that you will have a harder time letting go than Courtney. I'm sure that she can't wait to move. The fact that she is excited, hopefully, will make letting go a little easier. God bless you both and I will be praying.

loudowning54 said...

Beautiful post. It did make me cry. Much love to your family!